You know, my wife was many things and stupid wasn’t one of them. But, when she pulled any stupid wife tricks, it was a Lulu.
It’s like this.
Our first apartment and married for a week or two. Don’t ask about a honeymoon because that requires hard cash.
Let me tell you about the apartment. Forget Beverly Hills. Think Dogpatch. No, more than that, think Dogpatch slums. I mean, I didn’t want her outside after dark. I wasn’t real crazy about in daylight. Got the picture?
Okay, I came home one evening to our luxury apart. Luxury meant that it had a living room and a separate bedroom.
I came home after dark. I went into the living room. No lights. I went into the bedroom. No lights. I started to worry. I mean, in this neighborhood, I wasn’t too crazy about going out after dark. Where the hell was Carolyn?
Before I continue, you may be thinking, “Why did he rent a place like that?” Very simple answer. Money. We had about a hundred bucks between us and the rent was fifty a month. Understand?
The Bedroom With No Lights
Now, back to the bedroom with no lights. By the way, I had opened the door and left it open.
I was standing there and becoming very worried.
Then, quite suddenly, I heard the door swish shut. I turned. A figure approached me, arms up and in attack mode. And I heard something like, “ARRGGGHH!”
Well, I took a swing at this thing. A hard, strong swing.
To make a long story short, it was too late to stop my punch and, up close, I recognized my bride. I can’t explain it but I must have flinched because my fist went right over her shoulder.
What did my wife say? She said, “I thought it would be funny.”
After I had calmed down and was quite happy that my wife still had all of her teeth, I explained things not to do. The language may have been a little strong.
I think she understood.
If you’d prefer to listen to the podcast version of this article, you can find it here:
