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A Very Orderly Life

A Very Orderly Life by H.D. Ingles

I lead a very orderly life.

NOTE: Do not confuse “orderly” with “regimented.”

I get up when I want. Note here that I make appointments no earlier than eleven AM. And even that forces me to set my alarm clock. Curses.

I eat when I want.

I eat what I want. This includes salt, butter, and eggs fried in bacon grease.

I smoke a cigarette when I want. On this one, I want a lot.

I have a drink of hooch when I want.

Sometimes I kid myself into thinking I’m a writer. When I do, I do it when I want.

I go to bed when I want.

What’s the downside?

I’m an old man.

Even if I wanted a job, nobody would hire me.

Women aren’t standing in line to go out with me.

Nobody listens to me.

So, what am I telling you? I’m telling you not to wish your life away. I say that because, when you finally get what you want, you may be too old to really enjoy