Made It To 81: July 2, 2020. I am 81 years old today. How did it happen? Beats me.
I remember two brilliant thoughts I had when I was 18, in 1957.
Brilliant Thought 1: After I had read the book “1984,” I thought 1984! Hell, I’ll be 45, who cares?
Brilliant Thought 2: After I had calculated my age on New Year’s Day in the year 2000, I thought 2000! Hell, I’ll be 60, who cares?
Before I continue, let me say that “middle age” is a moving number. That is to say, both the starting and ending ages for “middle age” tend to increase as one grows older. I just threw that in.
When I was middle aged, in my late 50s, I thought about my long-time and rather large consumption of Lucky Strike cigarettes and bourbon. And I mean a long, long time. And I mean, really rather large. But I must say, no narcotics.
Anyway, I said to myself, “Old boy, you aren’t going to make it to 65.” Well, unless I am a ghost writer in the sky, I made it.
Now, let’s move on to old age. There is a point in a man’s life when he looks in a mirror and says, “Damn, like it or not, you are old.”
In North Carolina, you renew your driver’s license every five years.
When I got my license at age 75, I said to myself, “This is the last one, old man.”
Well, it wasn’t.
When I got my license at age 80, I said to myself, “This is the last one, old man.”
Will it never end? I mean, that damned license cost me 20 bucks.
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