One of my favorite things to pick on is that thing called “quality time.” Why? Let me tell you. This was a phrase which was invented at a time when more and more mothers began to join the work force. (And I’m not talking about World War II.)
Let me stop right here for a minute. I realize that there are circumstances where mothers are obliged to work to keep some cash coming in. I’m not talking about these people. Neither am I referring to older women who have raised their children nor women who want to work a little while their children are at school. Then who am I talking about? Well, what about a family where the father makes an excellent salary and the mother still insists on working even though there are young children at home?
Harrison, Carolyn, Laura, Lisa July 1977
If you think that I’m a sexist (whatever that is), then reverse the mother/father thing. I don’t believe that role reversal is good thinking because women tend to do better with small children than men. But who am I to tell you what to think?
Anyway, back to the father with the excellent salary. The mother has three basic reasons to want to work outside the home.
Why?
One reason may be because she just flat-out wants to dump the children. Not a whole lot more to say on that one. Could well fit into reason three, below.
Another reason is that she just plain loves her work. Along these lines, I have discovered that many women of that nature seem to be capable of “being there” for their children.
But the third reason is the one that gets me. This is because the wife works so they are able to help buy what they really need. Of course, with an excellent salary coming in, they can afford all the necessities plus a lot of extras. But the woman must work outside the home because what they really need is a $1.000,000 house, two Mercedes, a BMW, five large-screen TVs, four state-of-the-art computers, a swimming pool, membership to the most exclusive country club in town, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Ergo, we come up with “quality time.” Quality time being defined as scheduling really fun things with the children. The time, of course, must fit into the parent’s schedule.
In other words, “quality time” was invented to keep parents from having to feel guilty because they neglect their children.
Real Quality Time
Do you want to know what real quality time is? Even if you don’t, I’ll tell you anyway. Quality time is when a four-year-old falls down and skins his knee, and his mother is there to kiss his little injury and make it all better. If you didn’t already figure it out, a little light should flicker in your brain and tell you that things such as that can’t be scheduled.
Note here that I’m not condemning anybody; I have my opinion and others have theirs. It’s your life, so do what you want. Just don’t kid yourself about the reason you are doing something. I believe that Shakespeare said it best (“Hamlet”): “To thine own self be true.”
If you don’t understand what I’m saying, you may well be up to your neck in self-denial.
If you don’t agree with me, all I can say is, to each his own.
