It’s been awhile since I’ve been there, but I decided to write out some things I learned before I was 21.
I am 81 years old. Some would say, “81 years young” but that would be false advertising. Face it, when you are old, you are old. What that boils down to is the fact that I have been around the block a couple of times.
I have decided to list some things I have learned in my years on Earth.
I don’t want to overwhelm anybody, so I am starting with things I learned when I was young. In other words, there is more of this junk coming.
I made a list and checked it twice.
Anyway, here it is:
1. The opposite sex: That’s a tough one. From about the age of 14, females have bumfuzzled me. I am over 81 years old and I still haven’t figured women out.
2. Money: At a certain age, when a buck a week isn’t enough (remember, I was born in 1939) and your parents can give you no more, what you have to do is get a job. That’s it. When I was 12 and 13, I mowed lawns. When I was 14, I got a job. Ten bucks a week.
3. Listening to your parents: You listen when you are very young. At a certain age, you are so smart that you don’t listen. At another age, you realize how wise your parents were.
4. Doing things you shouldn’t: Teenagers do that. Always have and probably always will. But, even if on the surface you ignored your parent’s advice, there was always a little voice which said to you, “Only so far.” Listen to that little voice.
5. Respect: Respond to your elders with “Sir” and Ma’am.” Call your friends’ parents “Mr.” and “Mrs.”
6. Language: I know the rules have changed in our “Brave New World” but, in my day, it was “never curse when adults are in earshot” and “never curse in mixed company.” In case you don’t know, that’s males and females.
7. Education: Many young ones are not really ready for an education. Of course, I was an exception. I was so smart that I could cut class and play bridge. What I am saying is that my first year of college was a disaster and, in retrospect, an embarrassment. I wised up when I was 19 and enlisted in the U.S. Air Force. The USAF sent me to an excellent electronics school which gave me the knowledge I was able to turn into a career.
8. Narcotics: Better to avoid using. Of course, since I was born in 1939, things were different for my generation. When I was in high school, “narcotics” was “dope” and users were called “dope fiends.”
Well, that’s it. Take it or leave it.
