Please don’t ask how it happened, but I am still alive.
March 2022
How Long?
According to some statistics I looked up, a man 80 can expect 7 more years. So, I reckon the powers that be are giving me four more years.
Things In General
I do have to be careful with stairs, but unlike certain other prominent old men, I know where the stairs are.
Many believe me to be a bit looney, but that is not because of age. I have always been a bit looney.
I have difficulty remembering names. For that one, ditto looney.
I must admit, though, when thinking about actually exerting effort, I say to myself, “Do I really want to do that?” The answer is usually, “No.”
Note here that the answer to the above question is “Yes” if I am thinking of walking to my bar and pouring a bourbon.
If I am unlucky enough to be given a birthday party, I will have great-grandchildren asking, “Do people really get that old?”
One of my big concerns is that if I am unlucky enough to live two more years, I will have to shell out twenty bucks to renew my driver’s license.
Women
Women are a problem. Well, women have always been a problem, but that’s another story.
My problem with females today is that I sort of like women, but any females under 65 are girls. Truth is, 65 is touch and go, maybe 75 is a better bet.
Think about it. When a woman who is 65 was only three, I was 21.
Changes
I am not talking about changes in myself, I am still the same loveable sweetheart that I was when I was 21.
I am talking about changes in the world around me.
I am a man of the mid-20th Century and I intend to stay that way.
You know, in many cities today, people are openly smoking dope and injecting themselves with whatever on city streets. Hell, they even urinate in the street. And all of that is ignored.
On the other hand, if I light a cigarette, people look at me as if I were committing mass murder.
Today, men and women use a vocabulary which, when I was young, was never used in “mixed company”.
On the other hand, if I tell a dumb blonde joke, I am a racist, a sexist, a women hater, and that’s just for starters. By the way, my elder daughter is a blonde. She and her husband operate a very successful business, and she thinks dumb blonde jokes are funny.
I believe you get the picture here. I ain’t changing.
A Major Decision
Today, I made a decision of breathtaking and great consequence.
As of today, middle-age is defined as including age 83.
